Four ways to practise mettā in everyday life
Think back to your first yoga class. Maybe someone showed you where to find a block, or moved their mat to make room for yours. A small gesture like that can make it easier to walk into a room full of strangers. On World Kindness Day, 13 November, it’s worth noticing the little things people do that make us feel welcome, and the chances we have to do the same for someone else.
What is mettā?
Mettā is a Pali word often translated as loving-kindness. It means goodwill: a genuine wish for others to be well. The Sanskrit form is maitrī, the word Patañjali uses for friendliness in Yoga Sūtra 1.33.
In the Buddhist Karaṇīya Mettā Sutta, the wish is for all living beings to be well.
What does that wish look like in an ordinary day? Here are four ways to practise mettā, from a quiet moment after yoga to the conversations you have once you leave the studio.
1. Widen the circle
At the end of your yoga practice, take a minute to think of someone you’re fond of. Silently offer a simple wish: May you be well. Then bring to mind someone you see regularly but barely know, perhaps the person who sets up in the same corner of the studio each week. Offer them the same wish. See what it’s like to spend a moment considering how life might be going for someone you usually pass without much thought.
2. A quick ‘Can I help?’
At your next class, you might spot someone pausing at the studio door, wondering where to leave their shoes. Try asking, “Can I help you find anything?” Maybe all they need is someone to point out the shoe rack. You can do the same when a new colleague looks a little lost. Offer a hand and see what they ask for.
3. Speak with care when someone isn’t there
The Buddhist Kosambiyā Sutta describes goodwill in how we treat people in their presence and in their absence. Say you’re chatting after class and the pace felt a little fast for you. You might say, “I could’ve used another breath or two in each pose.” Imagine the teacher is there with you. Would you use the same words?
4. Come back after a difficult moment
Perhaps you hear yourself answer someone sharply and only realise how it sounded once the conversation is over. You can still go back. Try something simple: “I was a bit sharp earlier. Can we talk about it again?” You can still talk about what bothered you. Going back gives you both a better chance to hear each other.
For World Kindness Day, pick one of these to try in a moment that’s already part of your day. If you’re heading to class, you might start by making a little room beside you.